Progressive Revelations 1/3/12: With Friends

With Friends

January 3, 2012

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After several months of playing Words With Friends, I recently decided to stop altogether, a decision I have yet to regret. When it came down to it, I just couldn't handle playing 87 simultaneous games of Scrabble -- or a game that is technically not Scrabble but actually is -- and I couldn't handle the feeling that some of the people I was playing against seemed to be cheating. I don't know this for sure, but with so many websites devoted to these things called "words," including sites specifically created so that people can cheat at Scrabble, I couldn't help but think that some of my opponents were cheating when they put down words that they would never use in the non-virtual world, like words that end in the letter J...

Words with Friends is not the only phone or Facebook app that has taken a board game away from the board. Many years ago, people realized that chess could be played through the mail, so one person would make a move on a sheet of paper, mail it to his of her opponent, and then that opponent would make a move and so on. Most of these games ended before both people died, but in some cases, checkmate had to be declared at funerals due to the longevity of the games. It must have been a shame when a eulogy was interrupted with the words, "I knew that knight would be his downhall!" The "With Friends" craze has been extended to realms like Hangman with the game aptly named Hanging With Friends. Although the socially acceptable rule of Hangman is that people should only play it when absolutely nothing else is going on, this app allows people to create mystery words that their friends can solve at any time. It is actually difficult for me to even write about this without shaking with excitement. I mean, think about it: the ability to play Hangman anytime and anywhere. It's a dream come true. While we're at it, though, why not try some of these potential concepts:

Chllin' With Friends: People would stay at home with ice trays, turn on the app, and wow -- suddenly it's like making ice with other people. There would also be a sequel to this app, Breaking Ice With Friends, so that the friends could crush their cubed creations from the day before. I know what people are thinking: "Are people really ready for this level of intensity?" And I know what I am thinking back to these people: "No... No, they are not."

Fighting With Friends: With this app, users would be able to fight their friends by throwing virtual punches, mom-directed jokes and trash talk. "I hate you" would be turned into "Turn on that app right now so that I can tell you how much I hate you. And your mom also. I hate her, too." Since people complicate everything else, why not fighting? More advanced users could move on to Fighting With Enemies. It would be the same as the Friends app, but the phone would vibrate every time trash talking occurs, therefore simulating the exact feeling of fighting with someone you don't like. "It's exact," some people may be thinking here. "Yes, exact," I would think back...

Coffee With Friends: Getting coffee with friends, or "coffeeing," as no one calls it, is a common trend wherever there are coffee shops, which means everywhere except for Idaho (I don't know this about Idaho for sure; I'm just speculating). This app would allow users to drink a virtual cup of coffee with a friend as a virtual mug appears on the screen. With a second phone and phone number, a person could talk to a friend with one hand and drink a virtual coffee with the other. It would be the most brilliant usage of two hands this side of a Rubic's Cube.

Sure, the world might not be ready for all of the "friends" stuff I came up with, and some people might not find the concepts necessary, but look how Words With Friends made Scrabble cool again, and just think what it could do for ice, coffee and fighting.,,

But I digress.