Progressive Revelations 11/9/10: Donut Disturb

Donut Disturb

November 9, 2010

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People who read my columns know that I make a lot of references to Dunkin' Donuts -- and that's because I live in South Jersey, where Dunkin' Donuts are often located across the street from other Dunkin' Donuts. After all, how can anyone be expected to cross a street -- or even get out of the car -- to get a doughnut? As I was passing numerous Dunkin' Donuts today, I knew that if I stopped inside one, I would be inspired. Well, either that or misunderstood, and I was right about the latter...

This is exactly how my conversation just went with a Dunkin' Donuts employee...

Employee: Is there a computer in that bag?

Me: Yep.

Employee: A laptop?

Me: Yes. It would be hard to fit a desktop.

Employee: In that bag?

Me: Yes. Or inside any bag. Desktops are big.

Employee: Laptops.

Me: Yeah. True... Do you have wireless Internet here?

Employee: No.

Me: I know some of the Dunkin' Donuts do.

Employee: You can plug into that socket.

Me: That's okay, I have battery left. I don't need an outlet.

Employee: You can plug it in.

Me: Thanks, I'm good.

Employee: Into that wall.

The funny thing is, this is one of the best conversations I have ever had in a Dunkin' Donuts. It was topped only by the conversation that took place between this same employee and another customer immediately after my conversation ended. I won't share the details, but it involved whether the bathroom had running water. I assume that the bathroom does, indeed, have running water. After all, it needs to get away from that electrical socket. But as I type this, I am interrupted by another conversation with the same employee...

Employee: No coffee today?

Me: No, I'm good, thanks.

Employee: If you have time, you should go to YouTube. Check out my song.

Me: I would, but I don't have Internet access here.

Employee: No coffee?

Me: No, or Internet.

Employee: Don't break sleep.

I am glad to say this is the easiest column I have ever written, mainly because I didn't have to write anything at all. I just relied on Dunkin' Donuts, the lack of Internet and an employee who has a song on YouTube. And I'll admit, I am about to ask her to write down the name of her YouTube channel. I will listen to the song while I am breaking sleep...

But I digress.