Archived Column: 6/29/04

Meeting with a Legend:

June 29, 2004

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This past Saturday, while entering my bank, I was asked a question that I hope to never be asked again. It wasn't something bankworthy such as, "Would you like to make a deposit?" or even "What color lollipop do you want?" In fact, those are the two questions I wanted to be asked, for each related to my reason for being at the bank in the first place. However, before I even walked into the bank, I was approached by an employee who proudly asked the big one…

That's right: "Would you like to meet Phillies legend Dickie Noles?"

This put me into a big predicament. I could meet this person who is apparently now legendary after posting a career win-loss record of 36-53 as a pitcher, but this would take away a minute from my day. And I had great plans for that minute too. And thus, I proudly replied, "No, that's okay, I just need to make a deposit."

I felt like I was making a stand. That's right, me -- some random guy going to the bank -- had the option of meeting the Dickie Noles, who might I add had a career ERA of 4.58 (I didn't know these stats off the top of my head; I just felt compelled to look them up afterwards), and yet I declined the offer. How dare I do that?

"Well, you can meet him when you come out," the employee told me at 12:50. "He'll be there until 1:00."

I figured, "Great. This gives me just ten minutes to stall time in the bank. Okay, I can ask about a loan. Yeah, that's it. That should take a while. And then I'll attempt to rob the bank if that doesn't work."

Not listening to my figuring, however, I departed the bank at 12:55 and decided to go through a different door than the one I used to enter. "I'll walk all the around the bank," I figured this time. "I won't even acknowledge Dickie Noles."

It was a victory for me. I had avoided having to pretend to admire Dickie Noles, which is less than I can say for the small crowd gathered around him…

But then it happened. I looked in his direction and he looked back. And that connection made me feel compelled to walk over, at least to pick up a free poster. However, a funny thing happened when I got there: others walked over as well, and there I found myself waiting in line to see Dickie Noles. I waited, in fact, for five minutes. I even let Dickie talk to a kid behind me before he talked to me. And all the while, the employee kept looking in my direction, smiling. I felt like she wanted to say, "This is the greatest day in your life, isn't it? You're about to meet Dickie Noles."

And as I look at the poster which now hangs on my office wall, I can't help but think, "Ah, what a day at the bank that was! I almost avoided Dickie Noles."

But I digress.